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...Exceeding All Expectations of Excellence

Discontinued Products

Travel-Mate Pocket-Sized Language Translator

Manifest defect(s):
  • Isn't "pocket-sized"
  • Hand-cranking makes casual conversation difficult and "awkward"
  • Inability to process dialects creates frequent misunderstandings
  • Screeching, high-pitched mechanism alarming to some, especially French and Japanese people
  • Manual volume control by "putting your ear closer" considered unreliable and dangerous
  • Damage waiver and consent forms discourage candid dialogue


Model #5920-A1

Manifest defect(s):

  • Single-slice capacity insufficient for most commercial and residential applications
  • Diesel turbine leaves "petroleum" aftertaste to toast
  • Duel "de-crusting" shredders were inaccurate, causing operator injury
  • Hook'N'Pulley toast removal mechanism too complex and extremely risky for operators under 5' tall
  • Shoulder strap failed to make toaster truly "portable"

ShoeMax 1400 Commercial Shoe Tree

Model #763E-01

Discontinued 04/01.

Manifest defect(s):

  • Toxic discharge
  • Excessive torque resulting in frequent shoe tearing and distension
  • Heavy operator bruising and sausage-sized welts
  • Smoke inhalation resulting in bloody stool

TrimMagic Lawn Edger

MODEL #Gh-674200

Discontinued 10/88.

Manifest defect(s):

  • Property and utility line damage
  • Rapid operator harness "whiplash"
  • Violent flywheel kickback

Execu-Grill 8400 Gas Grill

Model #45l465-5

Discontinued 04/16

Manifest defect(s):

  • No cook top - does not open
  • No grill surface
  • No doors to access storage
  • No place to attach propane tank or hose

Happy Chef! Cheese Grater

Model #459-FD9

Discontinued 11/07

Manifest Defect(s):

  • For some reason, will not grate muenster cheese
  • Steel safety chest plate cumbersome and not "cheese colored"
  • Wild fluctuations in RPM's resulting in erratic and violent cheese overspray

Universal TV Remote

Model #2857-h38

Discontinued 02/12

Manifest Defect(s):

  • Cumbersome and labor-intensive channel-changing wheel
  • No volume control
  • Requires grounded extension chord for power - no battery capability
  • Must be connected to most TV's with an expensive and unreliable network of cables, belts, and hooks
  • Comes in only one color
  • Requires near constant lubrication
  • Frequent pinching and "thumb popping" creates unpleasant entertainment experience